A Friendly Zone

            It’s a rare occasion when I find myself eating the Doritos that came with my beefy- five-layer burrito. It’s an even rarer occasion when I find myself stepping onto a boat with seven teenagers.

            You see, my mom and I were invited to go boating with her boss. She didn’t say anything about her two kids, a son and daughter, and their friends. But, it turned out to be okay, because I would over-hear their conversations and silently giggle to myself. It got better when the rhythmic purring of the engine over powered their short whispers and they started screaming at each other.

“Why don’t you talk to him?”

“I cant… he doesn’t like me.”

“How do you know?”

“Because its like obvious.”

            As she said this she looked over at the son, who was a senior in high school, blonde and already had a six-pack. She was in ninth grade, with three different hair colors. She was shy, covering her bathing suit with a jacket that she even went swimming in. At every chance she can get, she looked at the son. Her green eyes thinking, wondering and hoping that one day he’ll be hers.

            As the conversation shifted, my attention stayed on her last line. I got to thinking about the friend-zone, if we get in one, how hard is it to get out? Is the friend zone a hole or like place in the mall?  Is it furnished? Or do I have to bring my own shit, adding to my already shitty life?

            I wondered, even in this day and age, could we still die from a broken heart? With the technology and everything couldn’t we move on easier? With all these dating sites, apps and everything else couldn’t we find someone else to obsess about?

            I thought about newly single, who at every open chance, spoke about her ex-boyfriend. She told me she glances over at the passenger seat and seeing him not there kills her. I figured, that being in a friend zone is harder. You not only love the person you can’t be with but you have to see them love someone else. Which, in all reality, is the ultimate killer.

            And you can’t give up your friendship because then you’ll be seen as an asshole. Trust me, I tried.

            The best way to get out of a friend zone – well I wish had an answer.  But I did Google ‘Can a person die from a broken heart,’ the answer is yes. The heart has these little shit strings that can literally break in half.

            So kids, for those of you in a friend zone, break out the champagne or other suitable drinking material, put on those songs reserved for a rainy day and dance the zone away.