The Gameplan

I was a firm believer that I didn’t need nice or expensive things to show who I really am. Or are. Or trying to be. But then I started working at Macy’s and the belief was shit on. I’m wearing Alfani sweaters and T-shirts that cost me about twenty dollars each (the sweaters were pushing sixty though.) I’m wearing closed toed shoes from Sketchers and Ralph Lauren. And I bought myself a brand new gold Iphone 6.

You have to understand I had my Iphone 4 for about four years. Try saying THAT three times fast. And I was perfectly happy with getting the Iphone 5 because, in my view, the Iphone 6 was a little too big. But the Verizon Guy was very pushy and was like, “You know Apple’s coming out with a brand new update in about three weeks so you might as well get the 6.” And I agreed. Stupid me.

He was like, “The 5 is dead anyway.”

And I thought so is my love life I’ll take the 6.

It’s been four weeks and still no update. Bastard just wanted me to spend more money. But that’s not the point, the point of this story is… its nice to have your own money. Its nice to have your brand new phone in your hands with all the pictures, songs and contacts that you stored in your cloud… even the ones your thought were gone forever.

There he was. The one I thought I had deleted. The one, for those of you who don’t know, took me on a date (read the post My First Date: Part Uno for a name.) I, in all honesty, forgot about him. He was gone from my phone, my Facebook and life and he never came back until I found his contact in my phone. I deleted it pretty fast but… for some reason I’m still thinking about him.

I haven’t been on a date since, let alone a dating site, let alone the dating site where we met. Its been what… two months? And I think I’m ready to do it all over again.

I’ve been thinking I’ve been thinking about telling you guys about this guy at work but I already started so I guess I’ll tell you. I barely know his first name and I defiantly don’t know his last name.

Actually lets backtrack a few weeks. I’ve been growing a beard. Well trying to grow a beard. It’s like growing and everything but there’s this one like spot on my chin that has no hair like what the hell? And I read in Cosmo that girls are attracted to men with beards and they’re called… LUMBERSEXUALS. And I thought, “Hey I like men with beards… what happens if I grow one?”

Okay back to that guy. So I walk into work one day and he comes up to me and is like, “I like men with beards.” And I said, “I like men with more than three comas in their banks accounts.*”

He has a really good sense of style and everything and he seems funny and he’s nice and tall. And the next time I see him I’m gonna ask for his Facebook and put my number in his phone next to the piece of shit emoji so that he has to text me.

*Walks away listening to Fancy*