The Roommate Test Vol.2

My college diet consists of four P’s: pizza, pasta, pork and paramedics. Yes, you read that right. The roommate calls from her bedroom, saying she cant breathe.

“Yeah that’s real funny. I’m tired quit playing around,” I tell her, logging back on to Facebook for the ninth time in ten minutes.

“I’m not kidding. It hurts, maybe we can go to the hospital?”

This was when I started panicking. The roommate can’t breathe and she wants to go to the hospital? What if she’s dying? My thoughts were running, “What if she dies in my car?” “What if we don’t make it.” “Do I give CPR?” "Do I know how to give CPR?" 

No, no, I was not about this life saving lifestyle, so I called the paramedics. I told them my roommate wasn’t breathing and that her stomach hurt.

“Is she pregnant?” the paramedic asked me, like I was the father. Hello, my voice is as high as a little girl.

I ask upstairs. The roommate answers back with a laugh. In my head, I knew she was fine. Only she could laugh at a time like this. We waited about ten minutes, I checked Facebook another two times and the paramedics knocked on the front door.

They came inside, asked where the sick girl was, like they instead came to give a morbid lap dance, and walked upstairs. I overheard everything, first, cause I'm nosey, second, cause I wanted to make sure she was okay.

The roommate has a bad case of indigestion, brought on by her Lactose Intolerant problem. I never saw her eat the cheese, hell, even buy cheese. She had butter, but that was like a week ago. As the paramedics left, a piece of paper was given to me with instructions. One luke-warm cup of water, morning and night, no MORE dairy, and to spend about three days on her right side.

The roommate called down and said thanks.

“No problem,” I answered back.

She then got all wishy washy, saying how lucky she is to have me as a roommate. That no one would else would’ve even dared to pick the phone up. That she didn't want the paramedics to show up because she was embarrassed. Like she knew she wasn't dying. 

As she said, this I wondered if this was the second part to the roommate test. To see how we reacted with each other during times of need, danger or stress. I passed this one, I hope she passes mine.