Knocking on Wood

I have this friend who has a certain taking to bad boys. The boys who fail most of their classes, drink and get high almost every weekend and have their pants way down past their ass. She told us this information, newly single and I, late one night when they both came to visit me.

We were laying, well not really laying, more like dropping on top of each other, on my bed, the lights all off, the fan circling, it felt and must’ve looked like, we were doing the nasty. She went on to tell us that the first time she did it was on a playground.

“A playground?”

“That’s nasty!”

“The playground was empty! It was at night. I’m not that weird,” she went on to tell us.

“That’s still weird,” I said.

“Yeah, but it was hot.”

There was a slight pause as we fixed ourselves, gathered more pillows and blankets and waited for more info.

“Well…?” newly single said, breaking the silence.

“Well what?” bad boy lover asked.

“How was it!”

Bad boy lover sighed and rubbed her eyes (I know because I was laying right next to her.)

“It was great. He was uh…about this big.”  She raised her hands in front of her and spread them about a shoulder length apart. It was at this point that newly single sprang up.

“Damn! And you took it?”

Bad boy lover nodded. “Hurt like a bitch.”

“I could imagine!” I said.

“Man I wish I could find someone like that,” newly single said, as she knocked on my wall- the 21^st century way of knocking on wood. As the thoughts of bad boy lover taking something like that lingered, I wondered about knocking on wood. Does it matter what wood we knock on?

Why do we knock on wood? I know it’s a way to wish good health on us, or something like that. My grandma does it all time. “Uncle whoever has such and such sickness. Glad I don’t,” she’ll say, knocking on her wood table.

I wondered where did it start? Who started it? A simple Wikipedia search later- my professor will be so proud I’m using on of his least favorite sites- I found that people knock on wood to avoid tempting fate. To avoid a wrongful death placed upon them.

I wondered why newly single said that. I wondered does she want to avoid a person with a large… or does she want someone like that? I wondered what happens if we don’t knock on wood.

Said as I knocked on wood.