1+1=3

The best thing about being a writer is the ability to ask anything to anyone. We have that perfect excuse that no one else has: “I’m going to put it in a story.” The best thing about being in a class with other writers, the questions are unstoppable.

Just today, as we sat around during break, we hit the topic of threesomes. We were all shocked and a little surprised because the person who suggested this topic, wants to work for Disney.

“Well, I’m just wondering… would you do one?”

“Depends on who with.”

“Like if it was two girls I didn’t know…sure.”

“But if it was with a friend I knew and some other girl…no.”

“What about guys?” she asked, she was the only female in class I should add, and here everyone shut up. And looked right at me.

I sat and listened, unsure of how to side step this conversation. Then her gaze lowered upon me.

“What about you, Joe?”

Do I sit here and act like I didn’t hear. Do I answer her? Can’t I sip my cherry coke in peace? Side story: have you seen those soda machines that have every imaginable type of soda in them? Like you could get fifty different kinds of coke, Dr.Pepper or Sprit. Well, those shit machines make me stressed. Do I want cherry, vanilla or raspberry (the worst flavor, avoid at all costs.)

“Well, it depends. On the guys…” I stammered back, shrugging my shoulders. She nodded and went on to talk about friends with benefits, something we will discuss later on, and I wondered, “Could I do a threesome?”

I got to thinking, I couldn’t even handle one boyfriend, how could I possibly handle two. Could I do it with two people I know or two people I hardly know? I also wondered who came up with this concept of adding another sexual partner to his already sexual partner.

I wondered, “In a threesome who gets hurt?” And I’m taking emotionally, not physically you sick bastards. So, like any other time I have a sexual question to ask, I go straight for the GBF. And newly single.

Turns out, there are two versions of threesomes in this world. Newly single said she would be hurt that her ex-boyfriend even suggested it. Thinking that their “sex life was the only thing holding the relationship together.” She went on to say the only way she would a threesome if she was “rip-roaring drunk and with complete strangers.”

The gays on the other hand will jump at the chance of a threesome. They don’t care if it’s with friends, strangers or donkeys. They don’t care if its public, private or in the backseat of a car.

I was going to end this asking if you, dear reader, would ever do a threesome. But, do I really want to know?