GayBoys Vol 3

Last night I had a nightmare. I was walking, alone, down this hallway that looked like my old school and it was quiet and dark. Then I felt like I was driving and I was unable to stop my car and right before I crashed I woke up. I rubbed my eyes and wondered if the dream was a metaphor for my life and that I am alone and will be as long as long as my expectations remain so high.

But then I remembered, oh wait I fucking hate gay men, that’s why my expectations are so high. I have been gay for nineteen years, two of those years have been public, and I have been nothing but angry about the whole thing. I just don’t understand why gay men have short flings. Like they fuck and dump and move on to the next guy. Its like everyone knows someone, slept with them or tried to sleep with them. I know this because I spent four years with these kinds of people.

“Hey did you hear that so and so broke up with-”

“Yeah but now he’s with so and so.”

 My gosh, choose one and stick with it.

Which leads me to sexuality. Everyone is bisexual, trisexual, asexual, pansexual, lampsexual, nosexual or notgettinganyuntildinnersexual and I’m just exhaustedsexual. “I like to try everything at least once,” sweetie this isn’t a menu it’s a relationship.

As I thought about all of this I couldn’t help but wonder, “Are gays afraid of having a relationship or are we sluts?”

When I think of gluts (gay sluts) I can only think of Davey Wavey and his YouTube videos. Davey is always shirtless and always talks about sex, having it, getting it or watching it. Yes, I do like his body. Yes, I think he is hot. But no, I do not think his videos are great. I watched a TV show with him on it, some “Online Dating of Men” bullshit and all he wanted was sex. I mean, one of his YouTube videos is about him looking for another boyfriend when he ALREADY HAS TWO. That’s probably why I can’t get one; Because Davey Wavey took them first. Which leads us to Sam Smith, boy wonder/non-slut.

Don’t get me wrong I love Sam Smith, his whole “I love my body” thing is great but Meghan Trainor did it better, and I loved ‘Stay with Me’ when it came out six fucking months ago. No wonder he wasn’t good at one-night stands he kept fucking singing that song. If he sang that song to me now I would be on the first bus out of his fucking life.

I’m not sure why gay men do this. And I’m unsure if I will do it, but I know I won’t because, I guess, I’m not good at one-night stands. I guess its because I want some to stay with me and only me.