My Story

June 12^th, 2013 a day that would live in infamy. Or so I thought. It started out as normal, and sunny, as possible. One of those perfect, family beach days. My family, highly unlike any other family, decided on a going to see a movie, one of those silly summer blockbusters types (I don’t quite remember which one, though.)

On the way to the mall we got to talking about theatre, and I mean if that wasn’t a sign I don’t know what else is. My sister in particular, loved the way the main actor played his role. She loved his singing, dancing and overall style. She asked if he was gay, and me not knowing (though secretly hoping he was) answered, “I’m not sure, but I would do him.”

It was as if the world stopped. It was quiet and suddenly very hot. I said that out loud, didn’t I?

“Yeah…But you aren’t gay? Right?” my sister asked looking at me through the rear view mirror. Rear view ha get it?

“I’m not…sure…I mean yes? I guess?” I stammered out. The cat was let loose. Can we talk about the huge pink elephant in the room?

“So you are gay then?”

I nodded. The weight was off my shoulders, but still lingered in the air and silence greeted us like an old friend. I knew they wanted to know more and I knew I wanted to tell them more.

As you imagined, we missed the summer blockbuster and talked about me instead.

I know, or could imagine, that many of you still haven’t come out. Yes, you came out to yourself and maybe those few close friends we all have nowadays, but not to the people who know and love you the best.

Here are my tips, you can take them or leave them. Come out. Seriously. I know you’re reading this, shaking your head saying, “But…I just like can’t do that.” Yes you can, both you and I know that. Even standing in front of a mirror saying, “I’m gay. Or bi. Or lesbian. Or transsexual.”

Come out in a public place. When I told my friends, the ones that didn’t know (I mean come on my favorite singer is Lady Gaga), we were eating in the cafeteria and I just calmly whispered, “I like boys. These are good chicken nuggets.” After I came out to my family we went to lunch. We talked and laughed and even discussed the boys I would have sex with, or the ones I already did. Being in a public place made it feel real, at least to me.

This tip is also called “Lets ask the newly gay guy every single question under the rainbow” And listen to me, answer them to your best ability. My mother asked me questions from “How do you do it?” “Is it safe?” “What’s your type?” to “Your favorite color still is blue right?” and “Are you getting the hamburger or cheeseburger?” Mom, I’m gay not a completely different human being.

Something I would not do: come out via Twitter, Facebook or any other social media site. This step only works for famous people (I’m looking at you Tom Daley) unless you tape it, post it to YouTube and get a million likes. In that case, I want some credit. Maybe a shout out.

But, it is a good way to get the word around. I heard, and watched, a few videos of people coming out and I know that sometimes all you have is a video camera and yourself. In that case videotape it, take a picture and spread your word around. I would advise though, to stay away from social media until, at least, ten people know.

Now, I know some of you have it completely different. You have strict parents who will basically disown you if you came out. And true, I didn’t have that when I came out, but the best advice is to just come out. Yes, they will see you in a different light, yes they may fight you on this but they will still love everything you will do.

Because trust me, it does get better. Because baby, you were born this way. Please, insert more gay clichés to your own liking.

If you ever need a friend to talk to, someone to yell at or to cry to my email is joerusso8@fullsail.edu.