Fandoms and the Pursuit of Sex

Once upon a time, an unknown, probably very long time ago, a fandom was started. We’re unsure where, what it was “fan girling” over or who started it we just know it started. It has since grown to cover different forms of media, from Movies and TV to rock bands and Memes and yes, even those Gifs or Jifs (how ever the fuck you spell it).

The Whovians. Potterheads. Gleeks. Trekkies. Directioners. And the greatest fandoms of them all are Lady Gaga’s Little Monsters. Can I just say how much I hate fandom’s. They feel like they know everything about the show, movie or group and they feel the need to rub it in everyone’s face, all the time, on different social media sites (the worst, I deemed, is Tumblr).  A typical Whovian fandom posting- OMG he wore the same shirt in episode twelve so that means he’s going to be the new doctor but only in fifteenth season when the old doctor goes through a time warp!

Maybe its because I’m not fully involved, both emotionally and physically, in a fandom or because there isn’t a fandom for the things I love (cough, cough Sex and the City. What would we be called? Cities? Sexies?) But I just want to know where or when do the fandom’s stop?

I asked this question to my friends, as we walked along the beach for our last outing together and they basically said the same thing, “They don’t. They carry the fandom EVERYWHERE.” 

“Could you imagine a Potterhead in bed?”

“Expecto big dick!”

“Wingardium Leviosa that dick into my…”

We stopped before we got too weird. We didn’t want to ruin our favorite book or movie or make an obscene scene on Venice beach.

But what if you are with someone with a fandom when you don’t have one. What happens then? Do you go along with whatever your partner wants? Can you imagine your partner saying, “Call me Professor McGonagall!” and you answer back, in a hushed whisper, “I’ll transform you into a pussy cat.”

I guess it’s a riddle that will never be answered. But in the meantime, here are two more riddles that have plagued my mind.

Why is Chick fil-a’s mascot a cow?

Why are they called lake front houses if the lake is in the back? Please send help, preferably with the answers to these riddles.