Great Expectations

Last weekend my mother and I went to a drum circle. At first I was apprehensive because the drum circle that I know is surrounded by drugs, sex and police raids but my mother said that this drum circle would be different. It was in the classy part of town where the houses started at four hundred thousand dollars. And it was on the beach. On the drive there I was expecting a circle of people, a fire and maybe some people singing. I was also expecting these people to be naked...but, you know, I just thought pot and music someone is bound to get naked. I expected that there would be less than ten people there and was surprised when I saw at least two hundred people there.

The drums started low; a rhythmic pounding in the vain of a satanic sacrifice. There was an old man who prayed to the sun gods and belly dancers with their skirts and shit. And there, sitting in the middle of the chant, was my mom’s friend. She told us that the drum circle happens every Saturday night and the drummers don’t want any payment. They just want everyone to have fun.

"I wonder if the sun gods would help me get a boyfriend," I ask. 

"You never know. That guy is seventy and moves better than me," My mom said. 

Sooner or later the night ended, the sun went down so the man praying to the sun gods left, the belly dancers stopped dancing and the drummers started to play the same beat over and over.

“Was it what you expected?” My mom’s friend asked.

“It was even better than what I expected,” I answered back.

That same statement was said two days ago after GBF and I saw If I Stay. Now I never cry at movies. I also never see tearjerkers or romance movies like the typical girl or woman would because they piss me off. What happens in these movies would NEVER happen in real life. Life isn’t a Nicholas Sparks novel folks.

 If I Stay was stunning. Part romance, part drama, part coming of age story. And I cried because it was so real. There was a scene with the main character and her grandpa and he was holding her hand and telling her it was okay if she went. Oh my gosh tears. It had its stereotypical romance “I can’t live without you, without you I am nothing” and “If I hold your hand one last time maybe you’ll come back to me” bullshit. 

I spent the last two nights thinking about expectations. If the expectation of drum circle is to have fun and the expectation of If I Stay is to cry what can we expect from ourselves?

I expect to be loved, cared for and treated right. To be successful, happy and rich. To be unstoppable, powerful and an inspiration. I guess expectations are pretty great just ask Charles Dickens.