My Broken Computer...

There are many fears in the world, for instance, people are afraid of heights, of darkness and spiders. Fears of tight spaces, elevators and, in some cases, staircases (though I’m not sure what is so scary about them?) I have two fears and one of them is breaking my computer. The other is heights but who cares.

So this morning I’m sitting and typing away and making progress on my personal project, my play called “The Rainbow Monologues.”

Side note. I have two playwriting books and no formal education in playwriting format. I searched and found the author of one of my books and emailed him. I asked if he could read the first two pages of it to check for any formatting issues and everything. He emailed back and said, “I read through the first two pages and skimmed through the rest and the format is superb. Its clean and easy to read and actually very enjoyable.” He would’ve read the rest if I paid him to. I’m still thinking about that though.

So I’m typing and I get hungry so I walk into the kitchen and TRIP over my COMPUTER CORD AND MY COMPUTER FALLS ON THE HARDWOOD FLOOR OF MY LIVING. I’m writing in caps because it broke my heart! I picked it up like a little child, crying my freaking eyes out, and the screen is BLACK. I’m crying harder now and place it on the couch, wrapped in a little blanket like a newborn baby.

I call my mother and she doesn’t answer and I leave her a voicemail of me crying for a full minute. I race back to my broken baby wrapped in a sheer blue blanket and cry. I yell at my dog to get out for some reason and she just looks at me. I turn on the computer…

AND IT WORKS. Oh I nearly threw up. I was so excited. I took it out of its blanket and held it for a brief minute. I put it back on its charger, I was afraid you see, that I crushed the charger port whatever the hell its called, and I didn’t then I went to Taco Bell to refresh my mind.

I have a love/hate relationship with the Taco Bell near my house because they never have the shit I want. Today I went for a Strawberry Freeze and they didn’t have it, like what the hell. The girl was like, “We ran out of the mix.” How the fuck do you run out the mix? Like what the hell.

I love Taco Bell cause every time I go to the drive through they ask, “How are you doing?” and I’m like, “I’m good how are you?” and they answer back, this is great, “I’m TACO-TASTIC.” Classic.

Can we talk? I came home with my NORMAL Baja Blast, bastards, and watched Cupcake Wars. Have you ever seen that show? It’s fabulous. So these assholes are baking cupcakes and shit and the challenges are ridiculous. “You have ten minutes to bake for thirty-thousand people have fun.” And all the cooks are like, “We’re never gonna make it” or they mess up but they ALWAYS HAVE THE CUPCAKES DONE. I don’t understand!

I want a recount!